


Hold

by MeansToOffend (goodmorning)



Series: Pick Me Up [29]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: 2017-2018 NHL Season, Other, Pick-Up Lines, Tampa Bay Lightning, a dog party ensues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-09 02:07:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15257055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodmorning/pseuds/MeansToOffend
Summary: "Johnny doesn’t even remember how it happened, now, the three of them falling into bed together. He only knows that it was easy, like everything else he does with them."





	Hold

Johnny doesn’t even remember how it happened, now, the three of them falling into bed together. He only knows that it was easy, like everything else he does with them: like hockey, passing and shooting; like hanging out, talking and laughing. One minute, he thinks, they’d been hanging out in Kuch’s hotel room, watching an episode of House Hunters he’d been pretty sure they’d seen before, and the next… the next minute they were all laying on the bed, breaths coming short and deep, Johnny bending at an awkward angle to get his mouth on Pally’s dick, Kuch’s lips on his neck and hands everywhere, hard and grinding against his thigh.

That was the first time.

Johnny still isn’t sure what he was thinking. He’s also not sure what he’s still thinking, because it definitely wasn’t the last time, either. Yes, in fact, they’re still at it, though more usually at home than on the road now. This is mostly because they’ve become kind of recognizable at home; Stammer always says it’s a hockey town, and he’s really starting to be right. Kuch gets it the most often, whether it’s his eyes or his accent or his shot. Pally gets it sometimes, too, because he just has one of those faces. Johnny… well, he used to get it more, but honestly he kind of prefers it this way.

Actually, though, if he’s being really honest with himself, he does know what he’s thinking, why he keeps sleeping with them. He likes to pretend to himself that it’s just convenience, that they’re all happy just to give each other the pleasure they want, that looking for other partners is just too much of a chore sometimes. The truth, though, is that he’s more than a little in love with them both, but… what they have, it’s not like that. And that’s difficult. But, of course, Johnny’s never really been one to go for the easy things in life, or he wouldn’t be where he is now, playing the game he loves for a team he loves with Kuch and Pally who _(it’s not like that)_ are really good teammates.

Kuch still picks up women sometimes, and that’s difficult, too. Johnny can never tell whether he’s trying to be subtle about it, whether he wants them to see or not to see or if it makes no difference to him at all. Pally sits next to him on nights like this, quietly watching, contemplating. Sometimes Johnny wonders what would happen if he were to lean a fraction closer, to lay his hand on Pally’s thigh and squeeze, whether they’d go up to Johnny’s room together and alone and try to make Kuch regret what he was missing _(it’s not like that)_. But he doesn’t, and they don’t. Instead, Kuch goes on picking up women, and Johnny’s eyes go on being drawn to him when he does.

Sometimes there are marks on Kuch the next day, chirping in the locker room about the scratches on his back, the hickey on his chest. None of them notice the suspicious bruise on his hip, but Johnny does, because it’s right there where he’d smoothed his thumb over Kuch’s skin the one time he’d asked them to fuck him. Pally had looked at Johnny, and Johnny had kissed them both, then, prepping Kuch with sure fingers until he was panting with it, dick hard and leaking, Pally’s careful hands caressing his body. Seeing someone else’s mark there makes Johnny jealous _(it’s not like that)_ , probably more than he’ll ever admit aloud, so, like every time he’s been stupidly jealous over Kuch before, Johnny blows them off and picks up a guy instead. He wonders, too often, whether they ever sleep together without him.

Johnny doesn’t think he’s ever seen Pally pick up, not even before the three of them got together _(it’s not like that)_. He’s not sure if that’s because Pally actually doesn’t or if he’s just better at subtlety than Kuch is. He really wants to ask, but he’s not sure if he should; they don’t talk about that kind of thing when they hang out, just video games and hockey and television, their teammates and their dogs and their teammates’ dogs. They don’t even talk about whatever it is that they have between them _(it’s not like that)_ , not even to discuss likes and dislikes, or to schedule other times than just postgames.

But Johnny appreciates that they still hang out normally, and he doesn’t want to do anything to change that. He would actually miss them a lot if he only saw them for sex, no matter how good. So he resolves to keep his mouth shut about all their proclivities, even his own. It’s not like he’s not used to it at this point, after all.

Usually after he sleeps with Kuch and Pally, Johnny likes to get to the rink early. That’s not because he’s worried about visible marks - if he does have any, which isn’t often the case, he doesn’t mind if the team gets a good chuckle out of them - or because he’s running away - sometimes they wake up in the same bed, sometimes they don’t, but it’s never weird. No, he shows up early because somehow all that extra exercise makes him feel more energized rather than less, and he likes having the chance to work it off before practice so he doesn’t do anything silly.

Unusually, quite a few of the guys are already there: Stammer and Pointer are having an earnest conversation about when to change the color of one’s stick tape, Heddy is actually taping a pile of sticks that seems far too large, and Vasy is clearly getting irritated trying to explain something to Sergy in a garbled mixture of Russian and English that Johnny really can’t comprehend. The relieved look on Vasy’s face when he spots Johnny coming through the door, though, it completely comprehensible, so he resigns himself to the slight delay and goes to see if he can help.

“Misha has English questions,” Vasy says, sending a slightly terrifying look at Stammer’s back. Stammer shivers, and Johnny resolves, yet again, never to make Vasy angry. Turning to Sergy, he tries to make an encouraging face.

“What is the difference between ‘love’ and ‘in love’?” he asks, and Johnny, after taking a second to marvel at the speed with which Sergy’s picking up the language, takes another second to consider that the universe apparently hates him, even though he’s never done anything to it, as far as he knows.

But Sergy is waiting patiently for an answer. “Well,” Johnny says. “I guess… you can love anything, coffee, your teammates, your family, but usually being in love is romantic.”

Sergy looks at him seriously, like he knows something, but all he says is, “That makes sense. Thanks, Johnny,” and goes to put his skates on. Johnny quickly follows suit, leaving Vasy to his own - hopefully non-murderous - devices.

He’s known for a long time that he’s in love with them _(it’s not like that)_ , so it’s not like Sergy’s question has stunned him into realization or anything. It’s just that now he’s having a hard time not thinking about it, especially with Kuch’s lips behind his ear, Pally murmuring in Czech against his collarbone. Johnny never talks when they’re in bed together, not only because he’s naturally pretty quiet but also because he’s afraid of what he might say. He can imagine their blank looks if it were to slip out, can picture them leaving him _(it’s not like that)_ and never coming back. He can imagine the awkwardness in the room, on the ice. It’s better if he keeps his mouth shut.

Except that’s a lot easier said than done, and it’s getting harder and harder all the time not to tell them. Johnny’s gotten to the point where them leaving isn’t the only thing he’s pretty sure he’s imagining; there are tiny little indications that they might feel the same way, a wink from Kuch, Pally’s hand lingering on his lower back, the two of them smiling at him and each other, soft. But if he is imagining these things, surely they should make him feel better, and they don’t. They make his stomach lurch, his heart thud painfully in his chest _(it’s not like that)_ , his breath go short.

It’s starting to feel like keeping his silence isn’t worth it after all.

Even if they do leave, even if it does make everything weird between them, it can’t possibly be worse than constantly feeling like he’s being torn apart. So he decides, at last, to do something about it. This is actually an easier decision than he’d thought, when he gets right down to it; something has to change, and all he can affect are his own actions.

But it’s not actually easy to do, to break the habit of silence he’s been cultivating for so long. He can’t do it when Kuch has half a conversation in Russian in his sleep, turns over, and falls off Pally’s bed. He can’t do it when Pally smiles at him, sleepy in the morning sun, cracking eggs into a pan in Kuch’s kitchen. He really can’t do it in the locker room, not when Killer tries to warn them about a prank, not when he’s too late, and not in the aftermath either, with Gourds steadily giggling away, Pointer staring forlornly at his elbow pads and Stralsy shaking his head disapprovingly.

Johnny doesn’t actually find his moment until, of all times, Stammer decides to host a dog party. _A dog party._ Because Trigger is a spoiled little shit. But Stammer doesn’t skimp on the grilling, and Reese likes the other guys’ dogs, especially Snowy, so Johnny is happy to go.

Pally and Snowy are already there when he lets Reese, barking joyously, out of the car. So, for some reason, is Kuch, who notices Johnny’s confusion. “Well, they part my dogs too,” he says. Johnny snorts at that, even if it is sort of true, but Kuch smirks back at him, calls the dogs over, and says something in Russian. Reese and Snowy sit. Kuch pats them on their heads and smirks harder; Pally looks like he’s trying not to laugh. It’s really cute _(it’s not like that) (but it could be)_.

By the time Heddy shows up with Harry, setting off yet another chain of barking, Johnny’s already managed to snag a steak and a skewer full of shrimp. Kuch keeps stealing bites of Johnny’s steak until Pally goes and gets him his own, and the whole thing is so viciously endearing that Johnny really can’t help himself. He finishes eating and stands up, Reese’s leash still dangling around his neck. Kuch is only a few bites behind, and Pally has no plate to empty but several bare skewers are stacked on the table in front of him. They stand, too, maybe at Johnny’s expression, maybe just because they don’t want to be sitting any longer. Either way, he’s glad of it.

Johnny takes a deep breath. “Could you guys do me a favor?” he asks.

“Sure,” says Pally, without hesitation.

“What favor?” Kuch asks.

And Johnny extends a hand to each of them and says, “Could you hold this while I go for a walk?”

“Hold… what?” asks Kuch, but Pally just looks at Johnny’s hand, at his face, then smiles and laces their fingers together, holding his other hand out to Kuch. And Kuch grins, steps around the table, and takes them both. They stand there like idiots, smiling and holding hands in a circle, until Harry runs between them, Trigger and Reese and Snowy chasing, threatening to take Johnny’s legs, already weak at the knees, out from under him.

But Kuch and Pally keep him upright, their hands holding his tight, and Johnny, for the first time, doesn’t have to give himself any reminders about what’s between them.

**Author's Note:**

> \- I could put notes here but I know what you really want to know about so here are the dogs:  
> \-- [Johnny & Pally with Reese & Snowy, puppy edition](https://78.media.tumblr.com/188d249e1a878dc0dd0c2d363989b5db/tumblr_nr1945wFGU1qm6joao1_1280.png)  
> \-- [Johnny & Reese](https://78.media.tumblr.com/9bc81755f6dad73288532e41b87f5ee1/tumblr_onhzlxNE8g1qm6joao1_r1_1280.jpg)  
> \-- [Pally & Snowy](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DMcHzQHXkAo9EOp.jpg)  
> \-- [Stammer & Trigger](https://78.media.tumblr.com/833dca9479586268566be092f234fe0a/tumblr_oomh3jZ8QK1qm6joao1_1280.jpg) [(who is a very spoiled boy)](https://twitter.com/RealStamkos91/status/725815748132769792)  
> \-- [Heddy & Harry](https://78.media.tumblr.com/4642725d984f5492566606b60cfd6c83/tumblr_mvlfwetpbk1qm6joao1_540.jpg)  
> \-- [And a link to a story on the most recent calendar (kittens! bunnies!)](https://www.rawcharge.com/2017/10/23/16518656/tampa-bay-lightning-pet-calendar-stamkos-kucherov-palat-bunnies-puppies)  
> \- Do I know for a fact that Stammer has hosted a dog party? No. Do I know it in my heart? Hell yes.


End file.
